{"title":"HOODIES","description":"\u003cp\u003eHoodies featuring original dark humour and hand-drawn artwork. Premium comfort meets bold, unapologetic design.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"qwack-off-hoodie","title":"QWACK OFF Hoodie | Funny Duck Dark Humour Unisex Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eMeet Nigel. Bellkeeperink's resident duck has reached the end of his patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eArmed with a flat cap, a pipe, and the expression of a man who's just listened to somebody explain cryptocurrency for forty-five minutes, Nigel has one message for the world: QWACK OFF. Hand-drawn artwork by Bellkeeperink, printed on a heavyweight unisex hoodie. This is dark humour clothing that combines comfort, attitude, and a healthy amount of duck-related judgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for lovers of British humour, sarcasm, alternative fashion, and avoiding unnecessary conversations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures \u0026amp; materials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced fabric with modern drop shoulder fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — twin needle stitching throughout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessionally printed to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Jet Black and Arctic White. Sizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wash at 30°C. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly onto the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eNigel has reviewed this product listing and remains unimpressed. He approves anyway.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000020369.png?v=1781875460\" alt=\"Hoodie Size Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Jet Black \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":58247132807493,"sku":"JH001-JBK-5XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":58247132840261,"sku":"JH001-JBK-4XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58247132873029,"sku":"JH001-JBK-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58247132905797,"sku":"JH001-JBK-2XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":58247132938565,"sku":"JH001-JBK-XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Large","offer_id":58247132971333,"sku":"JH001-JBK-L","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Medium","offer_id":58247133004101,"sku":"JH001-JBK-M","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Small","offer_id":58247133036869,"sku":"JH001-JBK-S","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Small","offer_id":58247133069637,"sku":"JH001-JBK-XS","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ X-Small","offer_id":58247133102405,"sku":"JH001-ACW-XS","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Small","offer_id":58247133135173,"sku":"JH001-ACW-S","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Medium","offer_id":58247133167941,"sku":"JH001-ACW-M","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Large","offer_id":58247133200709,"sku":"JH001-ACW-L","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ X-Large","offer_id":58247133233477,"sku":"JH001-ACW-XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58247133266245,"sku":"JH001-ACW-2XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58247133299013,"sku":"JH001-ACW-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":58247133331781,"sku":"JH001-ACW-4XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":58247133364549,"sku":"JH001-ACW-5XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_def6d68f-40eb-4c58-b623-68faf3d68388.png?v=1781198503"},{"product_id":"wooooollllanker-hoodie","title":"Wooooollllanker Hoodie | Funny Sheep Dark Humour Unisex Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome sheep are fluffy. Some sheep are friendly. This sheep is neither.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Wooooollllanker Hoodie features Bellkeeperink's most notorious woolly menace — a foul-mouthed field philosopher with strong opinions, questionable hygiene, and absolutely no interest in making a good first impression. Hand-drawn artwork with a subtle Bellkeeperink logo on the front and a large distressed back print. Countryside chaos meets unapologetic British humour.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for pub trips, cold mornings, village idiots, professional numptys, and anyone who appreciates humour that makes absolutely no sense to outsiders. Comfortable, heavyweight, and built for everyday wear. The sort of hoodie that starts conversations and occasionally ends them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures \u0026amp; materials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced fabric with modern drop shoulder fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — twin needle stitching throughout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessionally printed to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Jet Black and Platinum Grey. Sizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wash at 30°C. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly onto the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Wooooollllanker accepts no responsibility for any offence caused. He doesn't care.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000020369.png?v=1781875460\" alt=\"Hoodie Size Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Small","offer_id":58247267811653,"sku":"JH001-JBK-XS","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Small","offer_id":58247267844421,"sku":"JH001-JBK-S","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Medium","offer_id":58247267877189,"sku":"JH001-JBK-M","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Large","offer_id":58247267909957,"sku":"JH001-JBK-L","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":58247267942725,"sku":"JH001-JBK-XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58247267975493,"sku":"JH001-JBK-2XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58247268008261,"sku":"JH001-JBK-3XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":58247268041029,"sku":"JH001-JBK-4XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":58247268073797,"sku":"JH001-JBK-5XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Platinum Grey \/ X-Small","offer_id":58247268106565,"sku":"JH001-PLGR-XS","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Platinum Grey \/ Medium","offer_id":58247268139333,"sku":"JH001-PLGR-M","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Platinum Grey \/ Large","offer_id":58247268172101,"sku":"JH001-PLGR-L","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Platinum Grey \/ X-Large","offer_id":58247268204869,"sku":"JH001-PLGR-XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Platinum Grey \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58247268237637,"sku":"JH001-PLGR-2XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Platinum Grey \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58247268270405,"sku":"JH001-PLGR-3XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_6901e7c3-b89b-46f5-b4c4-f31f8c3e49c1.png?v=1781199004"},{"product_id":"the-theoretical-cow-hoodie","title":"The Theoretical Cow Hoodie | Funny Absurd Humour Unisex Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomewhere between advanced mathematics and complete nonsense, somebody asked an important question: what if the cow was theoretical?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNobody was prepared for the answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Theoretical Cow Hoodie features Bellkeeperink's wonderfully questionable rainbow cow design — hand-drawn artwork for people who enjoy strange conversations, unexpected humour, and the sort of logic that only makes sense at two in the morning. Heavyweight, comfortable, and built for regular use.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLovers of absurd humour and alternative clothing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who enjoy being asked, \"What does that mean?\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who believes cows deserve more representation in theoretical physics\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThose who proudly embrace the wonderfully ridiculous\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — warm, substantial, dependable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced finish — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed drop shoulder fit — comfortable for deep thinking or none at all\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — stays put\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwin needle stitching — built to last\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessionally printed to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Jet Black. Sizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: may prompt philosophical discussions about livestock.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000020369.png?v=1781875460\" alt=\"Hoodie Size Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Small","offer_id":58247557873989,"sku":"JH001-JBK-XS","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Small","offer_id":58247557906757,"sku":"JH001-JBK-S","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Medium","offer_id":58247557939525,"sku":"JH001-JBK-M","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Large","offer_id":58247557972293,"sku":"JH001-JBK-L","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":58247558005061,"sku":"JH001-JBK-XL","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58247558037829,"sku":"JH001-JBK-2XL","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58247558070597,"sku":"JH001-JBK-3XL","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":58247558103365,"sku":"JH001-JBK-4XL","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":58247558136133,"sku":"JH001-JBK-5XL","price":40.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_307e5c7c-6f4d-4953-a1a7-5f9eafb1593a.png?v=1781190495"},{"product_id":"brains-having-a-rest-hoodie","title":"Brain's Having a Rest Hoodie | Funny Dark Humour Unisex Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt's not that you're not thinking. It's that your brain has assessed the situation, decided it's not worth the effort, and gone for a lie down. Completely reasonable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Brain's Having a Rest Hoodie is for the chronically overstimulated, the perpetually tired, and anyone who's ever stared at a simple question and drawn a complete blank. Hand-drawn artwork by Bellkeeperink, printed on a heavyweight AWDis hoodie in Arctic White. Soft, comfortable, and deeply honest.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAlternative clothing for people who are doing their best. Mostly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy you'll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — cosy enough to think in, or not\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced finish — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed drop shoulder fit — no effort required\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self colour drawcord — for maximum hiding\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — stays put\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwin needle stitching — built to last\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessionally printed to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Arctic White. Sizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBrain not included. It's off somewhere having a kip.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000020369.png?v=1781875460\" alt=\"Hoodie Size Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Arctic White \/ X-Small","offer_id":58307030778181,"sku":"JH001-ACW-XS","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Small","offer_id":58307030810949,"sku":"JH001-ACW-S","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Medium","offer_id":58307030843717,"sku":"JH001-ACW-M","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Large","offer_id":58307030876485,"sku":"JH001-ACW-L","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ X-Large","offer_id":58307030909253,"sku":"JH001-ACW-XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58307030942021,"sku":"JH001-ACW-2XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58307030974789,"sku":"JH001-ACW-3XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":58307031007557,"sku":"JH001-ACW-4XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":58307031040325,"sku":"JH001-ACW-5XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_3e37111f-a1a2-4ec1-99ce-ebaa8b7501ae.png?v=1781778111"},{"product_id":"running-on-spite-hoodie","title":"Running on Spite Hoodie | Funny Dark Humour Unisex Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eCoffee's optional. Sleep's a luxury. Spite? Spite is a renewable energy source.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Running on Spite Hoodie is for anyone who's kept going purely on the basis that they refuse to let certain people be right about them. Hand-drawn artwork by Bellkeeperink, printed on the heavyweight AWDis Epic Print Hoodie — because if you're going to be fuelled by something petty, you may as well look good doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDark humour clothing for the quietly determined. The ones who smile and carry on, mostly out of sheer stubbornness.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy you'll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — as solid as your resolve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced finish — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed drop shoulder fit — comfortable enough for a long grudge\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo panel double fabric hood with flat lace drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHidden earphone loops — for tuning out the doubters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — stays put, like your determination\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwin needle stitching — built to outlast them\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessionally printed to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Jet Black. Sizes XS–3XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBest worn whilst proving someone wrong.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000020369.png?v=1781875460\" alt=\"AWDis Epic Print Hoodie Size Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Small","offer_id":58307081437509,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XS","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Small","offer_id":58307081470277,"sku":"JH011-JBK-S","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Medium","offer_id":58307081503045,"sku":"JH011-JBK-M","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Large","offer_id":58307081535813,"sku":"JH011-JBK-L","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":58307081568581,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58307081601349,"sku":"JH011-JBK-2XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58307081634117,"sku":"JH011-JBK-3XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_b5ac916d-8371-4f25-b892-9553ee0226ac.png?v=1781778256"},{"product_id":"red-flags-hoodie","title":"Red Flags Hoodie | Funny Sarcastic Dark Humour Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou saw them. Every single one. You just thought they were bunting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Red Flags Hoodie is for the ones who've been there — who've looked back at a situation and thought, yes, in hindsight, that was a lot of red flags. Hand-drawn artwork by Bellkeeperink, printed on the heavyweight AWDis Epic Print Hoodie. Dark humour clothing for people with excellent stories and questionable taste in people.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear it as a warning. Wear it as a badge of honour. Either works.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy you'll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — substantial enough to wrap yourself in your own regrets\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced finish — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed drop shoulder fit — comfortable and unapologetic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwo panel double fabric hood with flat lace drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHidden earphone loops — for ignoring people who are red flags\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — stays put\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwin needle stitching — built to last longer than your last relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessionally printed to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Jet Black. Sizes XS–3XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eComes with zero red flags. Unlike some people.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000020369.png?v=1781875460\" alt=\"AWDis Epic Print Hoodie Size Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Small","offer_id":58307091333445,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XS","price":42.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Small","offer_id":58307091366213,"sku":"JH011-JBK-S","price":42.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Medium","offer_id":58307091398981,"sku":"JH011-JBK-M","price":42.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Large","offer_id":58307091431749,"sku":"JH011-JBK-L","price":42.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":58307091464517,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58307091497285,"sku":"JH011-JBK-2XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58307091530053,"sku":"JH011-JBK-3XL","price":42.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_d01a1ca8-502c-4644-a8db-2a8697d5e588.png?v=1781778233"},{"product_id":"ham-sandwich-hoodie","title":"Ham Sandwich Hoodie | Funny Sarcastic Unisex Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eUnpretentious. Reliable. Slightly underestimated. Sound like anyone you know?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Ham Sandwich Hoodie is a love letter to the quietly brilliant — the ones who don't need to shout about it. Hand-drawn artwork by Bellkeeperink, printed on the AWDis Epic Print Hoodie. Because sometimes the most straightforward option is also the best one, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBold in its simplicity. Unapologetically itself. 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Sizes XS–3XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eNo actual sandwiches included. Sadly.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000020369.png?v=1781875460\" alt=\"AWDis Epic Print Hoodie Size Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Small","offer_id":58315357258053,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XS","price":39.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Small","offer_id":58315357290821,"sku":"JH011-JBK-S","price":39.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Medium","offer_id":58315357323589,"sku":"JH011-JBK-M","price":39.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Large","offer_id":58315357356357,"sku":"JH011-JBK-L","price":39.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":58315357389125,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XL","price":39.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58315357421893,"sku":"JH011-JBK-2XL","price":39.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58315357454661,"sku":"JH011-JBK-3XL","price":39.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_66aa0562-bbcd-404e-83db-36fb9302cbd9.png?v=1781939172"},{"product_id":"fish-out-of-water-hoodie","title":"Fish Out of Water Hoodie | Funny Alternative Unisex Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou know the feeling. 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Comfortable, heavyweight, and deeply relatable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAlternative clothing for people who march to their own very confused drummer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy you'll love it:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — substantial enough to disappear into\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced finish — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRelaxed drop shoulder fit — no fuss, no faff\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — stays put\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTwin needle stitching — built to last\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessionally printed to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Jet Black. 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Your anxiety is one of them. You woke it. That's on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe You Woke The Anxiety Hoodie is for the overthinkers, the 3am spiral merchants, and anyone who's ever been ambushed by their own brain at the worst possible moment. Hand-drawn artwork by Bellkeeperink, printed on the premium AWDis Epic Print Hoodie — because if you're going to catastrophise, you may as well do it comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is alternative clothing that says what your face is already saying. 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